Just put me on my back (and knock me out again)
by SapphireOcean
Summary: Everyone has different ways to forget.


Cross-posted from AO3. BDSM-flavored Eremika. Inspired by Lips Like Morphine by Kill Hannah, a song I forgot I knew until finding it on Arely's Facebook page. Got inspired, put it on repeat, and wrote this. it's probably really bad I'm sorry

Sort of warning for underage, although in my head they're older...

*hours later* For being so ~inspired~, writing it was like herding cats jfc what happened.

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><p>When he wants a break from being strong, he comes to her. She knows him well enough now to tell by his face whether he wants pain, or to be told what to do, or to be held. Or all of these things. Sometimes they simply stare at each other in silence. Sometimes, like this time, he gives her carte blanche.<p>

Tonight she slams him into the wall, calls him things that tore at her heart when he first asked her to (they still do, sometimes), marks him with her nails and teeth and palms. He remains rag doll limp, eyes dull, few sounds in his mouth. She knows the place he goes to in his head (on bad days, or really good days- the difference is subtle), but something niggles at her and so she stops; too late, she thinks as she examines his face.

"Eren. You need to tell me your color." She puts a hand to his cheek, relief rising uncertainly when he turns into her touch. "Eren?"

"I don't know, Mikasa." The words are difficult. _Idunno, Miksa._ "I just..."

Her fingers curl, nails digging into his skin; she can barely feel his shiver. "Red?" she whispers.

"Nnh..." His eyes drift shut.

She slaps him. "Words, Yeager! I know you have them," she says, masking her fear with volume.

"Not red," he gasps out. "No color, I— I don't know why. Again."

She slaps him on the other cheek and he huffs out her name in a moan, and that burning in her chest shortens her breath. He stopped trying to stand a while ago, and she can hold him up only so long. So she reaches under his arms and half-drags him to the bed, where he opens his eyes after falling onto it.

He sees her over him (her hands on his shoulders, her knees outside his) and a tiny spark comes to life in his eyes. He grasps her scarf and tugs, pulling her head down, raising his own for the instant it takes their lips to meet.

She moves one hand to his throat, pressing lightly, as she opens his mouth with the press of her tongue. She doesn't close her eyes, but he has no choice, instinctively struggling despite this millionth time.

His groan is everything but distressed, and the sound fills her mouth repeatedly, mirroring the arch of his body against hers. Her other hand finds his heart; when the beats become too fast to count she allows him air. His gasp makes her spine tingle.

The rise and fall of his chest transfixes her. Even though she knows his body intimately, small things like this have yet to lose power over her. She snaps out of hypnosis at her name said once, twice.

"I want your skin," he says, too, clumsy fingers finding her scarf again, trying to take it off. The spark in his unfocused eyes has blossomed into a glow.

She unwinds the scarf and sets it on the nightstand, then pulls her shirt over her head; Eren takes it before she tosses it aside and drapes it over his face, inhaling deeply.

Her smile surprises her, though she hides it away before he can see. When she's fully unclothed, she yanks her shirt away from him and revels in his adoring gaze. After a long moment, she helps him sit up (not that he needs help; she wants an excuse to hold him then), removes his shirt; together they take off his pants. Then he turns away from her, onto his hands and knees, and looks back at her as he eases his boxers down one-handed, suddenly insouciant.

Now she lets him see her smile. She gives his hand a stroke as she takes over divesting him of his boxers, then puts both hands on his back and shoves him down, eliciting another groan. She keeps him there with the rest of her body, feeling her heart beat against his back and his heat and his shaking. She covers his neck in kisses, bites at his jawline, swallows his noises with another kiss. Finally she unpins him, letting him turn over.

"I love you, Eren," she says, as she lowers herself onto him, the first moan rising from her as she sinks into sensation. He echoes her, her name falling from his lips in a thousand ways.

It takes only a few strokes for his hips to start jerking up into her, drawing sharp gasps from her lungs. She braces her palms against his chest, automatically pressing just hard enough for the illusion of immobility he so often craves. But his hands encircle her wrists, thumbs stroking, and he pulls them forward, shifting her balance.

"More," he whispers, "closer, I _n-need—"_

She eases down until she's lying on him, chest to chest, and tucks her face against his neck.

"Oh... oh, Mikasa, _yes."_

There is enough longing and relief in his voice to color her dreams for weeks. She presses her body against his tighter still, breathing his name into his skin as her hips drive them both near to breaking.

Aside from breathing, she is silent. She has no voice when his is so beautiful, almost a touch as real as his hands clinging to her shoulders. But the heat, the air, his skin, his tears on her cheek, everything coalesces until she has to speak, words rushing from her as delirium creeps closer.

"You're mine, Eren, understand? I'll always be here for you. No one can have you but me, I'm the only one who can hurt you like this, who can mark you, you've _always_ been mine—"

"Yes, always yours, I'm never leaving you, love you s-so—_ a-aah, Mikasa...!"_

And that's it, she's falling, shattering along with him as he cries out for her over and over, everything trembling.

At first they are only capable of breathing. Then her mouth brushes his neck, and she opens her eyes, and he buries his hand in her hair.

"All mine," she half-sings into his ear. "I'm so lucky..."

He practically purrs in response.

Gently, she untangles from him, her mouth covering his to claim his last moans. With great effort, they remember bedcovers and how they work, and crawl underneath them to re-tangle their bodies.

He kisses her forehead. "My Mikasa."

The sudden prickle of tears in her eyes disappears as his fingers mesh with her hair. She pillows her head against his chest, and they share a sigh.

Sleep surrounds them with velvet quiet.


End file.
